How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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