he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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