this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Terrible idea I love it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
