no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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