i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
