Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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