You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
