I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
