Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
