do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
