Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so let's talk penis.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
