In the future we'll all be gay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
