I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
COCAINE IS GR8
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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