Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
