just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
