I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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