Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
