Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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