all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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