I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am one with the molecules
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
