Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
