Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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