You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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