Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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