I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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