You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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