Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
