Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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