So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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