it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
