He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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