Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
