Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
