watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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