Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
