i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
