I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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