Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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