if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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