I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
