and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
