Dude my mom stole all your condoms
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
