Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We are all done wearing pants today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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