Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
