we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
