just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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