I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
