Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
