Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
