You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
